If you’re trying to figure out how to get over a broken heart then you’re probably going through a pretty awful time right now. Your relationship is over, you feel heartbroken and you want something to make the pain go away. I understand what you’re going through and I know just how bad it feels so I decided to write an article and record a video that share 5 key tips for healing a broken heart.
5 Tips for How to Get Over a Broken Heart
1) Remember that Healing a Broken Heart is a Process
Getting over a break up is a painful process and getting angry, frustrated and confused is all part of that process. So is crying, feeling sad, and having trouble sleeping. You may even find yourself having dreams about your ex and losing interest in activities that would normally excite you. If any of this has been happening to you, rest assured that everything is fine. In fact, all of these things are perfectly normal after a break up. Yes, even dreaming about your ex. This is simply your unconscious mind trying to process the loss and work through it on its own.
In fact, you can actually speed up the recovery process by allowing all of these feelings to come up and work through them as they do. I know it’s not very comfortable but acknowledging the pain you’re in and working through it is one of the most important steps in healing a broken heart. So give yourself some time to grieve the loss. It’s okay to feel down and not know how it will all work out. Give yourself the permission to not know for now and trust that these experiences will reveal their true value to you down the line. For now, just be where you are and be at peace with that.
2) Realize that Not All Relationships Are Meant to Last
Most relationships end and the majority of people who date are bound to break up.
I know that may sound like a very negative and cynical view of relationships but that’s just the reality of life. Just look around you, I surely don’t need to tell you how high the divorce rate is.
Now, I’m not trying to discourage you from being in a relationship or getting married; all I’m saying is that most people simply do not belong together and it’s only a matter of time before they realize it and break up. This is an inevitable part of the dating process and if you’re able to accept it as just a natural part of dating, you will have a much easier time getting over a break up.
Once you accept that throughout your life you’ll be in a few relationships that don’t work out, you can stop blaming yourself for what you might see as a “failure.” See, what we’re often so quick to write off as a “failed relationship” is actually a valuable life lesson if we stop to actually reflect on the relationship and learn from it.
3) Reflect on the Relationship and Learn from it
As we date around, we learn more about ourselves and how we interact with others. But even more importantly, we get a better sense of what we really want in a relationship and what we’re absolutely not willing to tolerate.
So rather than writing this off as just another failed relationship, reflect on what happened and learn from it. If you’re able to gain a greater sense of self-awareness from this relationship and move on with your life with a much better idea of what you really want, then this relationship was a success in its own right. Sure, it may not be a success in the traditional sense – a marriage in which two people went on to live happily ever after – but it’s still a success because it taught you some very important lessons about yourself, relationships, and life in general. Once you’re able to see these things, you can be grateful for what you learned rather than feeling bad about went wrong.
“Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.” ~ Charles Jones
So use this is an opportunity to become the person you deserve to be. Chances are you were tolerating things that you shouldn’t have been tolerating in your relationship. Well, now you don’t have to tolerate it anymore. You’re free. All the stress and drama that your relationship was causing you has been lifted. You now have a fresh bundle of clay and you’re free to mold it any way you want.
4. Rediscover who you are without this relationship
Relationships have a way of affecting us on a very deep level, especially when we really love someone. In fact, sometimes they can even make us lose a part of ourselves. Well now’s the time to remember who you are again.
Start by making a list of the things you want to accomplish in life to remind yourself of where you want to go. What interests do you have that you have ignored for a long time? What things have you not done for yourself that you would like to do again? Getting to know you and what you want for your future is crucial to getting over a breakup or divorce.
5. Use this time to create the life of your dreams
Once you start working towards your dreams again, you may realize how much you’ve lost by being in a codependent relationship. You’ve probably forgotten how much you like making music, playing sports, or working out. If you’ve lost your job because of your relationship or your hours have gotten cut back, consider starting fresh and finding a career that truly inspires and fulfills you.
Find what truly makes you happy and do what you love. That way, you can still be happy with yourself even if one particular relationship doesn’t work out. Remember that nothing should have the power to take over your life and affect you like this. Rediscover your inner strength and build yourself back up stronger than ever so that you never find yourself feeling so weak and helpless ever again.
Even though everyone’s journey of getting over a break up is different, these 5 steps should be at the cornerstone of every break up recovery plan.