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The Most Popular Posts on My Blog

Hi there,

I took the time to compile a list of the most popular posts on my website for you.

You can find all the best, most content-filled blogposts listed below.

If you don’t know where to start, I recommend you watch this video
to learn exactly what to do after a break up

After that, you can come back here and read all the posts on my site.

  1. How to Get Over a Break Up in 5 Simple Steps
  2. How to Get Over a Broken Heart - 5 Tips for Getting Over a Broken Heart
  3. How to Get Over an Ex Boyfriend - Why Losing Hope is Your Only Hope
  4. How to Mend a Broken Heart  – 3 Ways of Mending a Broken Heart
  5. How to Heal a Broken Heart - 5 Tips for Healing a Broken Heart
  6. How to Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend - Why Most Guys FAIL to Get Over an Ex Girlfriend
  7. How to Deal with a Break Up - 3 Tips for Dealing with a Break Up
  8. How to Get Over Your Ex - Dealing with Anger after a Break Up
  9. How to Get Over Being Dumped - 5 Ways to Deal with Being Dumped
  10. How to Over an Ex - 7 Reasons Why You Cant Be Friends after a Break Up
  11. How to Get Over Your First Love - 5 Tips for Getting Over Your First Love
  12. How to Cope with a Break Up - 3 Ways of Coping with a Break Up
  13. How to Get Over a Relationship - 7 Key Tips for Getting Over a Relationship
  14. How to Get Over an Ex Girlfriend - The #1 Thing That Prevents Guys from Moving On
  15. How to Survive a Break Up - 3 Tips on How to Handle a Break Up The Right Way
  16. How to Get Over Her - The #1 Mistake that Prevents Men from Getting Over Their Ex-Girlfriend

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How to Cope With A Break Up – 3 Ways of Coping With a Break Up

Figuring out how to cope with a break up is hard. Broken hearts and slashed dreams aren’t what we sign up for when we get into a relationship. However, that’s what often happens. But regardless of how horrible your break up may be, there are ways to cope with a breakup and make things better.

 3 Tips On How to Cope With a Break Up

how-to-get-over-a-break-up-21

 

 

1) Kick Your Ex Off The Pedestal

We often glamorize the positive traits of our ex while downplaying our own positive qualities. This is one of the worst things you can do after a break up. Instead, do the exact opposite. Think of all of the negatives you saw in your ex and all the positive things you have to offer. Accept that for whatever reason, the relationship simply wasn’t meant to be and realize that you have a lot to offer to someone who is looking for someone like you.

2) Reconnect with the People Who Matter To Help You Cope With the Break Up

When people are in a relationship, they often neglect the people closest to them in order to spend time with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Their friends and family usually take a backseat to their beloved, with whom they spend almost all of their time with. Well now that you are single, it’s a good time to focus on those relationships once again!

Talk to your family, hang out with your friends, do something you’ve always wanted to do. Take a vacation, take up a new sport, engage in a fun new activity, etc. The important thing here is to focus on your future and what you do have, instead of getting stuck in the habit of thinking about the past and what you’re going to miss.

3) Start Dating Again!

One of the most obvious, but also one of the most effective strategies for getting over a break up is to start dating again. No matter what you think, there are people out there who would actually love to meet you. Now you don’t have to jump back into the dating scene right away. It’s important to take some time for yourself to truly grieve the loss and come to terms with what happened. This is normal. However, it’s important not to stay stuck in this phase for too long.

Start meeting new people through friends, work school, social activities, bars, clubs, or online dating websites. The point is to start dating again. By jumping back in the dating scene, you’ll start socializing and having fun again. Plus you’ll find people who are eager to meet with you and like you for who you are. In fact, you may just end up meeting your soulmate! You never know until you try, right? Worst comes to worst, you’ll make a couple a new friends. What do you got to lose?

Now don’t get me wrong, figuring out how to deal with a break up is not going to be easy. However, if you follow these 3 simple steps I promise that you will get over your ex A LOT faster.

How to Get Over Your First Love – 5 Tips for Getting Over Your First Love

Getting over a break up is always hard, but figuring out how to get over your first love is the hardest. That’s because it’s not just any old break up, it’s a break up with the person who first showed you what it means to love.

You spent almost every day together and you had a lot of great times with one another. Everything was amazing and you just couldn’t get enough of each other. You felt like you finally found “the one.”

You probably thought you were going to spend the rest of your lives together and you may have even made plans for the future. This is all very normal, and actually quite typical when you fall in love for the first time.

“The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end” – Benjamin Disraeli

But now that it ended, you feel devastated and heartbroken. You may be worried that you’ll never find someone again or that you’ll never be as happy with somebody else. After all, this is the first time you’ve ever felt this way, and it’s not easy to believe that you could ever feel the same way about somebody else. But you can, and if you follow the 5 simple tips below, you will.

 

 

 

5 Tips on How toGet Over Your First Love

1) Don’t try to get your ex back

You have to let go of the hope that you and your ex will get back together. This might be really hard because you’re still in love with them, and probably will be for a while after the break up. You may feel the urge to try to get them back or tell them that you love them.

However, you have to realize that sometimes love alone is not enough to make a relationship work. You have to remember that you guys broke up for a reason, even if you can’t really understand that reason right now. If you do, it would be helpful to recall why you broke up, what you hated about your ex or what you guys could never agree on. After a break up, we tend to remember all the things we loved about our ex and all the happy memories we had together. Recalling all the bad things about your ex and your relationship will help you “fall out of love” with them.

2) Cut off ALL communication with your ex

I know this may seem a little extreme at first but it’s the only thing that works. You simply cannot get over your ex and truly move on with your life if you guys are still friends. You have to cut all contact with your ex while you attempt to get over each other. I know it’s really hard because you feel like you’re losing your best friend and one of the only people who ever truly understood you. At first, it’s going to be tough to resist the urge to contact them but it’ll get easier and easier over time.

3) Don’t assume that you’ll never find love again

Remember that just because the relationship is over doesn’t mean that you’ll never find love again. I often hear people say things like, there’s no way I’ll find anyone as good as my ex, they were perfect, I can’t imagine loving someone else as much as I loved them”

After having several relationships and looking back on them, I realize that some were better than others. However, it’s not really about someone being better than someone else. Every person was unique, and thanks to them, I grew into a different person. In fact, after every relationship, I actually grew to want and appreciate different things.

So don’t be naïve and think that you’ll never love anyone as much as your first love. Most people fall in the love for the first time during their teens and early 20’s. You still have most of your life ahead of you to love and be loved.

You may not realize this now but as you mature and grow, so does your capacity to love. So be grateful for your first love and know that this was a very valuable experience for you. It taught you what it means to be in love and it built your capacity to love. So when you meet the love of your life, you’re going to have an even deeper connection and a much richer relationship.

4) Focus on becoming a better person

Use the break up as an opportunity to grow and become a better person. No relationship is ever a mistake if you can get something out of it, like learning something new about yourself.

You might have learned that you’re a very stubborn person. This could be a good opportunity for you to change yourself for the better, so you don’t end up recreating all the same problems in your future relationship. You might have learned that you’re a very jealous lover. Now would be a good time to deal with your insecurities so you don’t end up getting jealous in all your future relationships and creating a whole lot of unnecessary stress and drama.

5) Don’t be afraid to love again

Just because your first love didn’t work out doesn’t mean that it’ll never work out. Remember that every person is different. And every relationship dynamic will play out differently with different people, for better or worse. Every person we meet is unique and we love each person differently.

A lot of people get into another relationship really quick in attempt to fill the empty void they feel after a break up. And while it’s unhealthy to jump into another relationship for the wrong reasons, it’s equally unhealthy to avoid relationships altogether. I’m sure you’ve heard someone say, I just don’t want to be hurt again?

But being open to relationships isn’t just about opening yourself up to getting hurt again, it’s also about opening yourself up to love again. After all, past relationships aren’t just about the bad things that happened lots of good things come out of them too.

But to love, and to experience all the good things that love brings, one must take a risk, for risk is an inevitable part of love. It is a risk that I am willing to take because I love to love. I love to get to know people. I love to share things with others and learn more about them. I love to grow and see things from a new perspective. I love having that special connection and I love experiencing that deep feeling of intimacy with the person you love. This is what makes the risk worthwhile for me.

What is it about falling in love that makes the risk worth it for you?

How to Get Over an Ex – 7 Reasons Why You CANT Be Friends after a Break Up

As you might already know, it’s not uncommon for your ex to say that you guys can still be “friends when they’re breaking up with you. It’s almost like giving you the option of staying friends is an obligation that they feel they owe you so they can feel like they were considerate of your feelings.

But if they were really considerate of your feelings… they wouldn’t be friends with you. See, a lot of times we think that staying friends will make the break up easier on us because then we can slowly fade out of each other’s lives and still have them around for support when we need it.

But in reality, staying friends after a break up only makes things worse. In fact, it’s probably one of the biggest mistakes that I see guys make after a break up, aside from trying to get their ex back. And ironically, it’s usually just their desire to get her back disguised as wanting to be friends.

At first, they fight feverishly to try to get her back and when that doesn’t work, they settle for friendship and decide to stick around as a friend, hoping that one day things will change. While many may think this approach is clever and coy, women can usually tell when you’re secretly yearning for something more. But if you’re really serious about being friends with your ex, ask yourself this:

 

Are You Really Prepared to Be Treated Like a Friend?

What a lot of people tend to forget is that if you try to stay friends with your ex…

Reason #1 = She’ll Start Treating You Differently & Force You into the Role of a Friend

When the break up is still fresh, there’s going to be a part of you that’s expecting her to act the same way towards you. And when she doesn’t, you’re going to get upset that she doesn’t feel the same way anymore. The reason for this is because the part of you that’s seen her as your girlfriend all this time doesn’t really care about this new title change. So when you’re hanging out with her, there’s going to be an inner battle going on inside of you between the part of you that’s pretending that it’s cool be friends and the part of you that still loves her and cares about her.

Reason #2 = You’ll Have to Constantly Push Down & Suppress Your Feelings Around Her

When you guys are talking or hanging out, she’s probably going to do something that reminds of you of why you liked her in the first place; whether it’s her little ways of talking or a thing she gets about you that nobody else does. But before you have the time to enjoy it, it’ll be replaced by the feeling of frustration that she’s no longer yours.

Reason #3 = Seeing Her But Not Having Her is Going to Hurt

Being around her as a friend is only going to reinforce the painful fact that she doesn’t see you the same way anymore. You’re going to be living with the constant reminder that certain things are now “off limits.” You won’t be able to say or do anything remotely sexual with her and you can’t be affectionate or do any of the other things you guys used to do when you were together.

You’re going to want to hang out with her and do things together like you used to but she’s going to be trying to create space for new things in her life and dedicating more of her time to her friends, family, dating, and yes other guys. At some point, youre going to ask her to hang out and she’s going to turn you down. Whether you admit it or not, when she starts passing you up to do other stuff… IT WILL BOTHER YOU! You can pretend that it’s cool and try to play it off like it’s no big deal but she’s going to sense that you’re getting emotional about it and it’ll make things weird.

Reason #4 You’re Going to Be Really Sensitive to Any Talk of “Other Guys”

You might already know what I’m talking about here. You and your ex are talking one day and she starts telling you a story that involves a friend. Might be something simple like how she was out with some friends this weekend and so and so happened. She might leave out the details, but in the back of your mind, you’re going to be wondering if any of those friends are guys and whether she’s seeing any of them. Now, you’re probably not going to ask her any of this stuff directly but you’re probably going to be trying to figure it out indirectly. There’s a part of you that’s going to be really tempted to “probe” a little more to try to get some more details to satisfy your curiosity. And if that’s not enough to make the friendship really weird…

Reason #5 = You’ll Be Saying & Doing Things to Try to Get Her Back

When you guys broke up, your ex probably gave you some reason for why she was leaving. Well, when you guys are together, you’re going to be tempted to try to show her that things are different now. you’re going to find yourself saying and doing things to try to prove that you’ve changed and that you got your act together. Now, I dont blame guys for doing this, there’s something really appealing about redeeming yourself in the eyes of the girl you love. The only problem is, that’s not how people act around their friends and she’s going to sense that something’s a little “off”

She may not say anything about it and she may not even acknowledge it herself but she will FEEL you wanting her approval. If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past few years of studying this whole area of dating and relationships its that girls are far more sensitive to these kinds of subtle dynamics than guys. She will FEEL you being dependant on what she says or does. She will FEEL you reacting to her when she pushes your button. She is going to sense that you still haven’t really let go and moved on.

Reason #6 = You’ll Be Tempted to Misinterpret Her

When you guys are hanging out or talking, there’s going to be a point where the relationship comes up and she tells you that she misses something about you. This is perfectly normal because the reality is, there’s still a part of her that cares about you, even if she’s the one that left. But the problem is, you’re going to misconstrue what she says and interpret it as a sign that she wants to get back together with you… sort of like wishful thinking.

The truth is that she may still love you and have some feelings for you but she doesnt feel any of those things enough to actually want to be with you. Sure, she might think about you from time to time and feel some nostalgia about how things used to be but there’s also a big list of bad things that have been building up in her mind over a long time, which caused her to break up with you in the first place. So despite what she might say here and there, her reasons for leaving you are still in her head and she’s probably reminding herself of what they are in order to prevent her emotions from getting the best of her.

Reason #7 = You’ll Spend a lot of Time Wondering How She Feels about You

You’ll constantly be reading into every little thing that happens and analyzing what she said so you can try to make sense of whats going on. Every now and then, the relationship talk may come up and you might get an inkling of hope that there’s a chance for you guys to get back together. But eventually, you’re going to realize that you just got your own hopes, which is only going to make
you feel even more frustrated and disappointed when you see that nothing changed.

All of these things are going to add up over time and really start to take a toll on your life. After a while, 1 of 2 things will happen.

Scenario 1: You won’t be able to conceal the fact that you’re still in love with her and she’ll have to cut off contact with you because it’s making things too weird and complicated.

Scenario 2: You’re confronted with the fact that she doesn’t want to be with you over and over again and you finally start to realize that you’re just wasting your time. Eventually, you decide to cut off all contact with your ex because it’s just too hard to be in love with someone who’s clearly moved on.

In both cases, things gets stressed to the point where a normal friendship just isn’t possible and you realize that all the time you spent “trying to be friends” actually made the pain even worse and just ate away at all the time you could’ve spent getting over your ex.

So if staying friends usually does much more harm than good

Why Do We Feel Such a Strong Urge to Stay Friends?

1) Part of the reason is because we often feel like what we had is too special to just throw away
and we feel like we have to keep them around in our life simply out of respect for what we had.

2) But what I think it really boils down to is the fact that its simply too hard for us to let go of someone that was once one of the most important people in our lives.

Just the thought of living your life without them creates this feeling of emptiness inside of you and some people have a hard time even imagining what their life would be like without their ex. And because cutting them out of our lives completely is such a drastic change, we keep them around to make things easier on us.

But unfortunately, we don’t realize that it actually does the complete opposite, which is why I’ve made an effort to hammer down on all the dangers of staying friends after a break up. Most people who try to be friends with their ex are often unaware of all the unnecessary complications involved in staying friends after a break up and don’t really realize what they’re getting themselves into.

My goal here was to give you a glimpse of all the different things that tend to happen when you try to be friends with someone you’re still in love with… after they’ve moved on. So please save yourself from all this pain and suffering and make a commitment to cut your ex out of your life for the next 30 days. It’s going to be hard at first but eventually you’re going to realize that life goes on and it’s really not the end of the end of the world, though I’m sure it probably feels like it right now.

 

 

How to Mend a Broken Heart – 3 Ways of Mending a Broken Heart

If you’re looking for advice on how to mend a broken heart then your heart is probably aching with pain right now. You just lost the person you loved and you feel devastated. When we get our heart broken, we often sit and sulk trying to figure out what actually went wrong. It can be confusing at times. How could they leave you just like that? How can they walk away from everything you guys have built together and be perfectly fine? Don’t they care? How is it so easy for them to move on?

These questions peruse through your mind, weighing you down like a ball of chains. Below you’ll learn 3 ways to mend a broken heart and get rid of that heavy burden that’s weighing you down.

 

How To Mend a Broken Heart In 3 Steps

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1.) Let Go of Anger and Resentment

If you’re the one that got dumped, it will be very tempting to point the finger at your partner and place all the blame on them (especially during moments of extreme hurt and sadness). However, you have to remember that the moment you give your heart to someone, you also give that person the opportunity to hurt you.

Being hurt is a part of being in love so as tempting as it may be get angry at your ex for hurting you, resist the urge to do so. Nothing good will come of it. It will only make you more angry and frustrated about what happened and you’ll have a pot of resentment brewing inside of you. No matter how justified you may be for feeling the way you do, the only person that you’ll end up hurting is yourself.

There’s a great quote by the Buddha that says:

 

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There’s another common saying that essentially says the same thing in different words:

     “Holding onto a grudge is like swallowing poison and hoping it poisons the other person”

The point here is that holding on to anger is not the least bit helpful. In fact, it will actually hurt you. The reason I shared both of these quotes was to highlight the importance of this. Pick whichever one resonates with you and repeat it to yourself a few times so that you can plant that thought in your mind and remember it the next time you notice any angry thoughts towards your ex.

Believe it or not, the best thing to do to someone who hurt you is to wish them well and really mean it. The sooner you can let go of the anger and resentment and move on with your life without any hard feelings, the better you’ll be. As they say, living well is the best revenge.

2.) Embrace the Experience

If you were hurt really bad, it can be tempting to wish that you never even met them or cared about them at all. However, I urge you not to regret loving them. Instead, celebrate the time you spent together and embrace the new opportunity that you are being presented with.

In her book How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life, Susan Piver writes:

Heartbreak presents one of the most profound opportunities for spiritual awakening that one could possibly hope for. It destroys your point of view, which is incredibly valuable. You can no longer maintain your opinion of yourself, your ex, or the way your life was supposed to turn out. It’s all gone.

After my first really bad break up, I was devastated. My heart was aching and I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt drained and I didn’t have the motivation to do anything. I didn’t even want to get out of bed in the morning. Family members were worried about my mental and emotional state and were pleading for me to go get counseling. In order to appease them, I made an appointment with a therapist. I went in for my first session but got sick of explaining the whole story all over again after already talking about it for hours with my friends. I reached a point where I didn’t even want to talk to anyone about it anymore. I just wanted to crawl up in a ball at home all by myself and isolate myself from the rest of the world. I was depressed.

Then one day I got so sick of being down that I finally decided to do something about it. I picked myself up and I embraced the situation I was faced with. I was miserable, my life was a mess and whatever I was doing clearly wasn’t working. It was time for a change. Day by day, I pushed myself to learn and grow a little more. I explored various self-healing techniques and I tried just about everything I could find to help me deal with the break up. I began reading tons of books on love and relationships and personal growth and development. I became a “self-help junkie.” (I suppose there are far worse things to be addicted to)

As time went on, my search intensified. I began to question the very fabric of my being and I started asking questions like

  • What is the purpose of life?”
  • “Why are we here?”
  • “Why am I alive?”
  • “What am I really doing with my life?”

I didn’t have the answers but I was committed to finding them. Truth became my highest commitment and I spent hours upon hours journaling and trying to make sense of my existence. I guess you can say I was having a bit of an existential crisis.

And although I didn’t realize it at the time, I was actually in the midst of one of the most intense and sacred spiritual processes: the process of rebirth and awakening.

There’s a great saying that goes:

        The two most important days in a person’s life are the day they’re born and the day they realize WHY they were born.

The process of realizing why is what I consider awakening. And not just awakening to life, but awakening to who you are so that you can become who you deserve to be.

3.) Focus on Becoming a Better Person

I know the last section may have been much more spiritual than what you may have been expecting when searching for advice on how to mend a broken heart. However, the underlying message here is to embrace the opportunity that this experience is offering you so that you can grow and become a better person.

Once I did this, my whole life started to change. Within just a few short months, I went from depressed and miserable to incredibly blissful.

Before my days were filled with stressanxiety and discontent and now they are filled with
peacejoy and fulfillment.

I felt the grace of something greater enter my life to guide me out of my emotional turmoil. That grace granted me an opportunity to start anew. Well, you have that opportunity too. You can embrace what happened and use it to transform your life for the better. You can take back control of your life and become all that you’re meant to be.

If you do this, you’ll eventually look back on what happened and see it as a blessing. In fact, after a few months had passed, I realized that my ex actually did both of us a favor by leaving. Not only did it free us both from a toxic relationship that wasn’t making either of us happy but it gave me exactly what I needed to “wake up” and make the changes that I needed to make in my life. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t easy to make those changes and it certainly took quite a bit of time for me to truly transform myself. However, after that experience, I decided to take control of my life and begin guiding down a path of my choosing.

Prior to that, I just sort of drifted through life and took what came to me. If I didn’t get what I wanted, I’d always find some sort of excuse for why things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to. I would often play the “victim” role and complain about bad things always happening to me instead of actually taking responsibility for my life. It wasn’t until I was faced with the excruciating pain of heartbreak that I made the choice to take full responsibility for my life.

 It took a lot of agony to snap me out of my apathy

But once I did, life was never the same again. I became much more proactive about life. I learned the power of making a decision and carrying it out until it gets done, no matter how difficult the journey may be. After that, I discovered a power inside myself that I never knew existed. I realized that I could persist even in the face of great uncertainty.

Pain didn’t have the power to stop me, turmoil didn’t discourage me and setbacks didn’t knock me off course.

Through this experience, I also learned to be a lot more patient and compassionate with myself. I became much more “in-tune” with my feelings and more conscious of how things affect me. But most importantly, I made the decision to bend the world to my will so that I could live the kind of life that would truly make me happy. I wasted too many years of my life as a passive observer living a life of mediocrity. I was ready for a change.  And although I didn’t fully realize it at the time, I was given a great gift: the opportunity to re-create my life. By having my heart broken, I was able to begin the work and exploration that I had avoided for far too long.

Baron Baptiste writes

 ”We all have flashes of awareness in which we realize that who we are in all our smallness has to break apart in order for a new self to emerge….I’ve learned that it is only when we are willing to give up the fragile hold we have on our illusions and come apart that we can begin to see the truth, surrender, and begin anew.”

Imagine your heart breaking open as a necessary part of opening up to something greater. Think of your heart widening to embrace all that your life is meant to be. Now that I look back on what happened, I realize that my heart was breaking open for a reason. I had a tremendous life-force that could no longer be contained. The life-force was one of passion and growth and it had become too big for the container that it was in. The breaking HAD to happen in order for my heart to expand and contain the extraordinary fullness that is flowing into my life every single day. I am glad that my heart broke open because I am now a better person because of it. I am much more positive and optimistic and also much more mature and self-aware. But even more importantly, I discovered a greater possibility for life and a sense of inner strength within myself that I never even knew existed.

Through the process of having my heart broken, my life opened to me. And with gratitude,
I am now open to life.

And if there’s only more thought that I can leave you with today, it would be about the power of gratitude and the incredible impact that it can have on your life.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.     Melody Beattie

I hope that sharing my journey with you has helped you in your own healing process.


 

 

How to Get Over a Broken Heart – 5 Tips for Getting Over a Broken Heart

If youre trying to figure out how to get over a broken heart then youre probably going through a pretty awful time right now. Your relationship is over, you feel heartbroken and you want something to make the pain go away. I understand what you’re going through and I know just how bad it feels so I decided to write an article and record a video that share 5 key tips for healing a broken heart.

 

 

5 Tips for How to Get Over a Broken Heart

1) Remember that Healing a Broken Heart is a Process

heartGetting over a break up is a painful process and getting angry, frustrated and confused is all part of that process. So is crying, feeling sad, and having trouble sleeping. You may even find yourself having dreams about your ex and losing interest in activities that would normally excite you.  If any of this has been happening to you, rest assured that everything is fine. In fact, all of these things are perfectly normal after a break up. Yes, even dreaming about your ex. This is simply your unconscious mind trying to process the loss and work through it on its own.

In fact, you can actually speed up the recovery process by allowing all of these feelings to come up and work through them as they do. I know it’s not very comfortable but acknowledging the pain you’re in and working through it is one of the most important steps in healing a broken heart. So give yourself some time to grieve the loss. It’s okay to feel down and not know how it will all work out. Give yourself the permission to not know for now and trust that these experiences will reveal their true value to you down the line. For now, just be where you are and be at peace with that.

2) Realize that Not All Relationships Are Meant to Last

 

Most relationships end and the majority of people who date are bound to break up.

I know that may sound like a very negative and cynical view of relationships but that’s just the reality of life. Just look around you, I surely dont need to tell you how high the divorce rate is.

Now, Im not trying to discourage you from being in a relationship or getting married; all Im saying is that most people simply do not belong together and it’s only a matter of time before they realize it and break up. This is an inevitable part of the dating process and if you’re able to accept it as just a natural part of dating, you will have a much easier time getting over a break up.

Once you accept that throughout your life you’ll be in a few relationships that don’t work out, you can stop blaming yourself for what you might see as a “failure.” See, what we’re often so quick to write off as a “failed relationship” is actually a valuable life lesson if we stop to actually reflect on the relationship and learn from it.

 

3) Reflect on the Relationship and Learn from it

 

As we date around, we learn more about ourselves and how we interact with others. But even more importantly, we get a better sense of what we really want in a relationship and what we’re absolutely not willing to tolerate.

So rather than writing this off as just another failed relationship, reflect on what happened and learn from it. If you’re able to gain a greater sense of self-awareness from this relationship and move on with your life with a much better idea of what you really want, then this relationship was a success in its own right. Sure, it may not be a success in the traditional sense – a marriage in which two people went on to live happily ever after – but it’s still a success because it taught you some very important lessons about yourself, relationships, and life in general. Once you’re able to see these things, you can be grateful for what you learned rather than feeling bad about went wrong.

Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be. ~ Charles Jones

So use this is an opportunity to become the person you deserve to be. Chances are you were tolerating things that you shouldn’t have been tolerating in your relationship. Well, now you don’t have to tolerate it anymore. You’re free. All the stress and drama that your relationship was causing you has been lifted. You now have a fresh bundle of clay and you’re free to mold it any way you want.

Pain

 

4. Rediscover who you are without this relationship

 

Relationships have a way of affecting us on a very deep level, especially when we really love someone. In fact, sometimes they can even make us lose a part of ourselves. Well now’s the time to remember who you are again.

Start by making a list of the things you want to accomplish in life to remind yourself of where you want to goWhat interests do you have that you have ignored for a long time? What things have you not done for yourself that you would like to do again? Getting to know you and what you want for your future is crucial to getting over a breakup or divorce.

 

5. Use this time to create the life of your dreams

Once you start working towards your dreams again, you may realize how much you’ve lost by being in a codependent relationship. You’ve probably forgotten how much you like making music, playing sports, or working out. If you’ve lost your job because of your relationship or your hours have gotten cut back, consider starting fresh and finding a career that truly inspires and fulfills you.

Find what truly makes you happy and do what you love. That way, you can still be happy with yourself even if one particular relationship doesn’t work out. Remember that nothing should have the power to take over your life and affect you like this. Rediscover your inner strength and build yourself back up stronger than ever so that you never find yourself feeling so weak and helpless ever again.

Even though everyones journey of getting over a break up is different, these 5 steps should be at the cornerstone of every break up recovery plan.

How to Get Over a Break Up in 5 Simple Steps

As Im sure you already know, figuring out how to get over a break up is hard.

Losing someone you love is one of most painful experiences youll ever have to go through. The only thing more traumatic than dealing with the pain after a break up is grieving the death of a loved one.

In fact, these two experiences are actually remarkably similar if you examine them closely. When youre grieving the loss of a loved one due to a break up, youre actually experiencing many of the same emotions that people feel when theyre grieving the death of a loved one.

And much like grieving the loss of a loved, getting over a break up is a process, a really painful one at that. Unfortunately theres no magic pill thatll instantly make the pain go away. However, in this article Im going to share 5 tips for how to get over a break up thatll speed up the recovery process and make getting over your ex a lot easier.

 

5 Tips on How to Get Over a Break Up

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1. Accept that it’s Over

 

Accepting that your relationship is over is the very first step in getting over break up. If you want to move on with your life, you need to accept what happened first. You guys broke up, its over. Let the reality of the situation sink in. I know its a lot to take in all at once and it may take you a while to accept the loss and truly come to terms with it.

Youll probably spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to get your ex back and you might harbor secret fantasies of you two getting back together. And while its nice to entertain the thought that your ex is just going to wake up one day and crawling back to you, its probably not going to happen. I know theres tons of guides out there on how to get your ex back that promise you some kind of magic secret thatll make them come crawling back to you in 24 hours. Well, I hate to break the bad news to you but theyre selling you false hope.

Remember that People Break Up for a Reason

 

There were problems in your relationship and those problems are what made your ex want to leave. These problems are REAL. Using some kind of manipulative technique that preys on their insecurities may help you get them back, but its not going to help you keep them because all those problems are still there.

The problem with all the advice out there on how to get your ex back is that its a quick-fix solution that doesnt address the real problems at hand. Its kind of like using a band aid to treat a stab-wound; sure, it might cover up the bleeding temporarily but its not going to last for very long. Eventually, its going to get weak and all the blood is going to start gushing out.

Well, this applies to relationships too. See, getting your ex back doesnt actually deal with the heart of the problem, it simply covers it up temporarily. And unfortunately, its only a matter of time before all those problems come up again and you guys break up.

Ive learned this lesson the hard way after breaking up and getting back together time and time again thinking I can make the relationship work only to watch it all fall apart, again and again. I recommend that you save yourself from this exhausting process and just accept the inevitable: whats done is done. Their chapter in your life is over and now its time for you to move on and write the next chapter of your life.

2. Distance Yourself

 

Well, unfortunately you cant write the next chapter of your life when youre still immersed in it. So the first thing you should do is CUT ALL CONTACT with your ex. The reason for this is actually quite simple. As you can imagine, its going to be pretty hard to come to terms with the break up and accept that your ex is no longer a part of your life when theyre still in it, right?

I know it may sound like Im overstating the obvious here but you cannot truly accept that theyre no longer a part of your life until you actually remove them from it.

I know its tempting to want to stay friends after the break up but unfortunately staying friends with your ex will only prolong all the pain youre feeling. Maybe one day you guys can be friends again but now is not the time. When your heart is still freshly wounded, seeing or talking to your ex will only make things worse. Im sure youve heard people say that love is like a drug. Well, you have to start viewing any type of interaction with your ex like an addiction – the more you give into it, the harder it is to break it.

 

3. Grieve the Loss

 

After a break up, you will certainly experience a lot of different emotions like sadness, loneliness, anger, fear, confusion, uncertainty, shame, and jealousy. These feelings may also manifest physically for you in the form of crying and feeling heartbroken.

Dont deny any of the emotions that come up for you and dont judge them as bad or negative. Its perfectly normal to experience all of these emotions after a break up. In fact, these emotions are not only healthy, but theyre important for you to feel in order to remain healthy. I know it probably doesnt seem like that now because its whats causing you to feel miserable; however, giving yourself time to grieve the loss is an important part of getting over a break up.

Remember that grieving the loss is a process. It doesnt happen all at once and it can take some time for you to truly come to terms with the break up. At first, you may have trouble eating and sleeping and you might find yourself losing interest in all the activities you used to enjoy. Youll probably be thinking about your ex all the time and you may even have dreams about them. But by having the courage to experience the pain and sadness now, you are allowing yourself to work through it so you can finally come to terms with it. This will make letting go of the relationship and moving on with your life a lot easier.

Many people try to skip the grieving process by suppressing their feelings. And while this may make it easier for you to cope day-to-day, it actually hurts you more in the long run. A lot of people try to brush it off and pretend like everythings fine but they actually end up prolonging their pain by bottling it all up inside and burying it. I know its uncomfortable to confront all these tough emotions but the sooner you face it and embrace it, the sooner youll be able to get over the break up and move on with your life.

4. Focus on Yourself

 

In the beginning, youll probably spend a lot of time thinking about your ex and talking about what happened. This is perfectly normal. Sometimes you just need to get everything off your chest. And while talking about the break up can be good for you initially, theres a point where you need to shift the focus back on yourself. Begin a journey of self-discovery and start exploring questions like who am I now? and where do I go from here?

Use Losing Your Ex as an Opportunity to Find Yourself

 

Take the time to get to know yourself and find out what makes you happy. A lot of times when people get into relationships, they tend to put the other person before themselves and they make their life revolve around them. Well now that theyre gone, its time to focus on what makes you happy again. Acknowledge your needs, wants and desires and do the things you love.

Focus on Finding Your Happiness from Within

 

Cultivate a sense of inner contentment that can never be taken from you. That way no matter what happens, you always know that you have a deep well of joy inside you.

Start doing things you used to enjoy but didnt have time for. If you loved to paint or draw or dance before your relationship but gave it up because the relationship took up too much of your time, now is a great time to go back to doing those things. Now would also be a great time to explore new interests or do the things youve always wanted to do. Start working out regularly again, pick up a new sport, read a good book, learn to play an instrument, volunteer somewhere, go skydiving. Embrace your freedom and pursue your interests. Follow your heart and chase after your dreams . Try to stay positive and take good care of yourself. Splurge a little on things you may have deprived yourself of in the past.

5. Learn from the Experience

 

An important part of getting over a break up is learning from your experience, which includes both the break up and your relationship with your ex. While its tempting to play the blame game after a break up, it wont actually help you get over the break up. So instead of pointing the finger at your ex, turn inwards to see how your behavior may have contributed to the break up and take responsibility for your part in the relationship.

Put your own stuff aside for a moment and challenge yourself to see things from their perspective. Make a genuine effort to understand why they were unhappy and what made them want to leave.

Look for all the valuable lessons you can learn and focus on how you could use the experience to grow and become a better person.

Remember that everything in life – good or bad is a learning experience. Well, breaking up is no exception. Reflect on your relationship objectively and see it from a detached point of view. Look at what was great about the relationship, what wasnt so great and what led to the break up. Writing it down can help you get clarity on it. Make sure you use what you learned from this experience to be more self-aware in the future so that your next relationship is even better!

How To Deal With a Breakup – 3 Tips for Dealing With a Break Up

As I’m sure you already know, figuring out how to deal with a break up is hard. In fact, many people say that a break up is one of the worst pains you can ever experience in life, aside from the death of a loved one.  But no matter how difficult your situation may seem right now, I’m going to share 3 tips for how to get over a break up.

3 Simple Tips for How To Deal With a Break Up

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1.) Distance yourself from your ex

If you want to get rid of the pain you’re feeling right now then it’s absolutely essential that you distance yourself from your ex immediately. You have to give yourself the space to heal. You cannot truly heal and get over what happened if your ex is still in your life.

In fact, by keeping in contact with your ex, you’re actually dragging out the pain even longer and making things worse. So stop torturing yourself and make a commitment not to contact your ex at all for the next 30 days. I recommend doing this longer but a month is a really good starting point.

2.) Find someone you can talk to that can help you deal with the break up

After a break up we tend to feel very lonely. Not just because we lost the love of our life but because we feel like we’re all alone and no one understands us. We often withdraw and isolate and end up spending a lot of time alone. I know I did. But there’s something else I did that really helped me deal with the break up, which was talking to people about what happened.

The reason this is so important is because it helps you deal with that feeling of loneliness after a break up. It allows you to reach out and connect with people. It reminds you that you’re not alone. And even more importantly, it reminds you that there are people in your life that care about you.

3.) Start exercising to help you deal with the break up

Exercising is definitely one of the quickest ways to get of your funk. When you exercise, your brain release endorphins and you end up feeling really good. It totally changes your mood. It’s like hitting a “reset” button. It’s also really good for stress relief and can definitely help you take your mind off your ex. This is a much healthier alternative to what most people do when trying to deal with a break up: drinking, smoking, and overeating.

So what I would suggest you do is to start working out regularly, at least 3-5 times a week. If you’re already exercising, take it up a notch so you can burn off all the additional stress that got built up after the break up. If you’re not already exercising, get in the habit of doing it. You already know it’s good for you so I’m not going to go on and on about the benefits of exercise but let me just say one thing: exercise has been scientifically proven to help deal with stress.

So if you’re not already doing it, overcome whatever initial resistance you may have to doing it and just do it. After a couple workouts, you’ll start to build some momentum and you’ll get in the habit of doing it. Once it becomes a habit, it becomes a lot easier to keep up. Set aside specific days and schedule a visit to the gym at a specific time. Make that time the same every week so you don’t have that convenient “I’ve got a lot to do today” excuse.

Dealing with a break up is definitely not easy but following the 3 simple tips that I’ve shared here will definitely help you deal with the break up. Please don’t be fooled by the simplicity of what I shared. Yes, these tips are very simple but they work. They’ve helped me deal with the pain after every break up I’ve had and I guarantee that they will help you too, all you have to do is do them.

How to Get Over Her – 3 Tips to Get Over Her FAST

If you just got dumped and are looking for advice on how to get over heryou first need to learn about the #1 biggest mistake that most guys make after a break up that actually prevents them from moving on with their life.

After a relationship ends, most guys feel a really strong urge to get their ex back. In fact, most of them try really hard to get her back.

Have you ever seen one of those movies where the girl finally decides to take the guy back after he does something to show her how much he loves her?

I hate to break the bad news… but those are just happy Hollywood endings!

Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t realize that and they follow in their footsteps thinking they’ll be able to get her back by showing her how much they love her. They’ll call and text her over and over again to try to figure out her “reason” for leaving. They promise to change and they beg for another chance.

Every guy has their own way of doing it. Some write their ex really long emails, others write them letters and love songs. Some guys even send them flowers and gifts.

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The reason we do is because we think that if our ex only knew just how much we love her, she wouldn’t leave. Well, the thing you have to remember is that she’s not unconvinced of your love. That’s really not the issue here.

She knows that you love her, she knows that you care about her, and she’s choosing to leave you anyways. Now I know that probably sounds a little harsh but people almost never leave just because they’re not feeling “loved enough”

The hard truth is that not only can she live without you
…but she’d rather live without you.

So How Do I Get Over Her?

If your girlfriend left you, you have to realize that trying to get her back is a waste of your time. In fact, it’s actually counterproductive and will make it HARDER for you to get over your ex girlfriend

Not only does it waste your time and energy, and ultimately fail to change her mind, but it also makes it very hard for you to change yours.

See, the more you spill your heart to her and tell her how much you love her; the more you start to believe that you need her in order to be happy.

With every creative expression of your undying love, the loss becomes more and more devastating. What you’re basically doing is exaggerating how much you love her and how important she is to you, which is only going to make it harder for you to get over her.

If that’s not bad enough, pouring your heart out to her and being totally vulnerable will leave you feeling even MORE heartbroken once you realize that it didn’t have any effect on her whatsoever.

Now don’t get me wrong, she may empathize with you and truly appreciate your sincerity but it won’t actually change anything. Once a woman has decided to leave; trying to get her back by pouring your heart out to her will only make you feel WORSE.

It will simply reaffirm the fact that she doesn’t feel the same way about you.

The pain of rejection is going to sting really bad and it’s going to be really hard for you to accept. So please save yourself the pain and all the humiliation while you’re still ahead.

It’s best to just let go now and move on with your life with dignity. Otherwise, you’re going to look back on this a few months later and you’re going to feel embarrassed that you acted so desperate.

3 Tips for Getting Over Her…

1.  Stop doing things to try to get her back!

2.  Realize that you can’t “get over her” and “try to get her back” at the same time.

3.  Accept that getting over her doesn’t start until you stop trying to get her back.

So do yourself a favor and let go so that you can actually move on with your life and get over her!

How to Survive a Break Up – 3 Tips on How to Handle a Break Up The Right Way

Looking for advice on how to survive a break up? I don’t blame you. Getting over a break up is not easy. The severity of the break up depends on a variety of factories: how close you were with your ex, how long you were together, and how committed and invested you were to the relationship. Although the difficulty involved in getting over a break up differs for every person, most people
tend to have a very difficult time dealing with a break up.

3 Tips on How to Survive a Break Up

how-to-survive-a-break-up1.) Handle the Break Up Right by Getting Closure

One of the biggest reasons that so many people have such a hard time coping with a break up is because it’s really hard to get the closure you need. Your ex owes you the truthful reasons for breaking up with you. If you poke at them enough for it, they tend to eventually give in. If they simply don’t love you any more, that is enough reason for you to be apart from them. Take it as well as you possibly can and move on. Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? Do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t value you for the amazing person you are? You deserve better, so move forward and keep looking for the right one!

2.) Finalize the Break Up By Cutting Contact

This is one of the most crucial parts of a break up, yet one of the hardest. It is common to chase a recent ex up with phone calls, text messages, e-mails, Facebook messages, etc. Honestly, it will drive you mad. You will very rarely hear what you want to hear. It will also make you seem desperate and needy, which will put them off you completely. At this point, your ex will know you want him/her back, which puts them in complete control. Take some control back by simply cutting communication for good.

If you want to know how to handle a break up the right way then you should avoid face-to-face contact with your ex at all costs. That means avoiding their usual hangouts and friends. Perhaps this is tough if you see your ex at work or don’t live in a big enough town to avoid them completely all the time. If that’s the case, don’t do much more than say hello if you see them. Even if you have friends that are friends with your ex, avoid those friends for a little while. Make it clear to them that it’s nothing personal to them and that you just need the time away from possible contact with your ex in order to move on with your life.

3.) Forget about the Break Up and Focus on Yourself!

Many people are clueless about how to handle a break up. One of the best ways to deal with a break up is to start focusing on yourself! Remember that life is beautiful, with or without your ex. Focus on your hobbies, friendships, work, and who knows.. maybe you will eventually meet a special someone that is right for you. The latter shouldn’t be rushed of course, but just get back to your life and enjoy it to the fullest. Look after yourself and let yourself feel happy.

If you really focus on the things I mentioned in this article, I promise you will make it. Remember that you can be happy and enjoy life without your ex. If you were fine before that partner came into your life, then you will be fine once again. It may not be easy in the beginning but you will get through it and get better. I promise.

Find Out If Your Relationship Will Make It Through The Tough Times…

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